Thursday, February 14, 2013

10 things you didn’t know about orgasms

You think you are a real expert when it comes to orgasms? You really think that you know everything there is to know about it and are you sure that there is no secret left for you? Maybe after reading this article you will be the real expert you claim to be.  

I was surprised at the results of this enquiry because I never really had asked myself these questions before. Ok, these facts will not change your sexual life or help you in any way with your sex drive, they’re just sex facts that maybe you never would have thought possible. 


     Surprise, surprise!  Little boy’s in mommy’s uterus masturbate. Where the expression boy’s will be boys finally makes a shit load of sense. So when they say it is in the male human nature to masturbate and that always think about sex, well guys you’re off the hook.  It’s seems that it is genuinely male nature. Even unconscious of the act and still in the womb you are still aware of the pleasure an orgasm can bring you. Needless to say men are born with sexual experience


      Funny fact isn’t? I probably would have been pretty skeptical of this one if it wasn’t for the fact that I have already had an orgasm without even being touched. Not an easy task but truly possible.  
There have been different case reports of women having an orgasm without the stimulation of genitalia. One woman said that she could orgasm from getting her eyebrow stroked…what a funny way of orgasming. But hey, what ever gets you off!

There was another case study about a woman who would orgasm while brushing her teeth. Something very complex about her sensory motor action was triggering orgasms. She tried different toothpaste trying to explain the orgasm with maybe a difference in ingredients; still it happened with any brand of toothpaste. Every time she brushed her teeth she would have a powerful orgasm. She went to a Neurologist who was more than happy to take her case and study the effects and reasons of this.

They tried stimulating her gums with tooth picks, nothing. The orgasm was only caused by brushing. You would think that this woman would have the most excellent oral hygiene on this planet but unfortunately this woman switched her oral routine from brushing to mouth wash thinking she might be possessed by demons. What a sad end to an excellent story. If I were her I would have carried my tooth brush everywhere and every excuse would have been good for brushing my teeth.

Some people can actually think themselves to orgasms. They can decide when and where they can have an orgasm. Wow, that’s what I call lucky talent. If I had that ability, I would probably try orgasming everywhere I go especially places where I have to wait in line. Waiting in line would never be the same. I would have an orgasm-o-thon and win. 

Death certificate
Well, I cannot vouch for this one because I’ve never been dead and don’t know anyone who has and has had the pleasure of having an orgasm.

The headquarters for the orgasm is along the sacral nerve root. Technically, if you stimulate the sacral nerve (if it is oxygenated) at exactly the right spot, you can produce an orgasm in patients that are brain dead. Patients who machines are keeping alive and have no brain wave activities are allowed to have orgasms too. It won’t be much fun for the person but they still would have an orgasm which is after all a very pleasurable moment for anyone, brain dead or not.


Smiley orgasm

It is said that after orgasms a slight seminal odor can be detected on the breath of a woman within an hour after sexual intercourse. Of course I do not go around smelling my girlfriend’s breathe after orgasm so I cannot verify the details of this fact but it has been researched in the past by Theodoor van de Velde who was somewhat of a semen connoisseur and who says he could differentiate semen from a young man with semen from a much older man. Wonder what got him into semen sniffing? I guess his curiosity got the best of him. 


           5.       IT CAN CURE THE HICCUPS.
In 1999 a man from Israel had an incurable case of hiccups. Doctors were agape as to the reason of this and how to cure it.  After many days and many attempts at different techniques, tricks and friends advice, still nothing had worked. At a certain point the man, still in his hiccup fury eventually had sex with his wife. Lo and behold, hiccups ceased. He shared this information with his doctor who then went on to publish a medical report entitled: “Sexual intercourse as a potential treatment for Intractable Hiccups.” He also suggests that unattached hiccupers can try masturbation to cure them of the hiccupping. What a great way to get rid of such an uncomfortable situation. MASTURBATE… DOCTORS ORDERS!

Where are these doctors now? There is a theory called “The up-suck theory” Sounds funny doesn’t it.  This theory is the assumption that when a woman orgasms, semen is sucked up the uterus for better fertilization of the eggs. They used to think that the orgasm was essential for fertility. Lucky women, the doctors and specialists would actually preach and teach the importance of pleasing a woman. They had to bring a woman to pleasure to maximise the chances of fertilization. I really wish they could have kept this theory going. No a days I know a lot of men who don’t really give a damn about pleasing the woman, which makes for very cranky ladies. If they only knew what pleasing a woman would actually do for them and their sexual lives. I guess that it’s just another well-kept secret and its men’s loss anyways.  

For men, doctors would literally prescribe frequent masturbation because your body would then build fresh sperm which would be what you would want for fertilization. So boy’s, masturbating is proven to be good for you and for your future impregnation needs so grab a porno and get to it!

     Pig farmers everywhere believe

Pig farmer masturbating pig
It has been said that stimulating a sow while inseminating increases the production of piglets. Imagine the farmers face when he was told to masturbate his pig in order for her to produce more piglets. Now imagine his face when he was told the clitoris is inside the sow’s vagina There are two techniques; the hands on approach you can see here in this video and or the sow vibrator. Yes, a sow vibrator that hangs on to the sperm insertion tube because like I said the clitoris is in the vagina. I guess female animals have more fun than we think even if they don’t seem to be. 

            7.       ORGASM IMPROVES WITH AGE

Yes, so only good times ahead. Future only seems brighter now doesn’t it!


Now ladies, undeniably the excuse of having a head ache needs to be retired. Now more excuses, head aches can be cured with sex. The surge of oxytocin when having an orgasm releases those feel good endorphins which act as pain relievers. It’s a double whammy. You get to cure the headache and have an orgasm! What a great remedy. Boy’s you love me now don’t you?

Sexual cycles and behaviors have been studied in labs across the world. It might not be easy as it looks. Sex is a very intimate moment, an intimate way of sharing and pleasing. Now imagine putting on a lab coat and masturbating in front of a few hundred people and a camera? Not everyone would feel comfortable in this kind of situation. Thank goodness some people do which put forth interesting studies and the evolution of sexuality.
Studying sex with men might be easy but for women most of it happens inside. The researchers developed a coition artificial machine, which is technically an artificial penis with camera, motor and light source. (Origins of the Dildo minus the camera?)  Woman would have sex with it so they could study the effects and results of the female orgasm.

Orgasm lab tests

Not easy, but entertaining

In the 1940’s the force which the semen was thrown into the uterus was a huge factor in the fertility domain. This inspired Alfred Kinsey to study the distance traveled by ejaculated semen. He decided to experiment. Armed with a measuring tape and a movie camera, he asked 300 men to masturbate and measured their searing sperm power. Most of them only seemed to have dribbled down their semen and slopped out, however, thanks to one man the official semen thrower record holder , men’s reputation has been restored with a cum shot of about 8 feet. Thank goodness t Alfred shared with us the fact that his rug was protected with a long tarp or else there might have been some really unhappy cleaning lady.


Profund orgasm face
Oh yes it’s true. Lucky us right? Some women can experience an orgasm for over 2 minutes and indulge in the pure delightful pleasure more than a man ever will. You guys get to masturbate in the womb, we woman get 2 minute orgasms. Is that a fair deal?

The study of orgasms is not something that is very common. Probably more in the 40’s and 50’s when it was still a huge mystery to the world and when it was thought to help reproduction which was back then their number 1 concern.  Today, anyone can look up on the internet what it is, how to create it, how to make it better. There are so many porn movies with orgasming women, it’s like a worldwide orgasm conspiracy and soon orgasms will be every day common things like taking a bath or changing your underwear. If only we could all orgasm on command like the pros do. I am willing to bet that these 10 things you didn’t know about orgasms  hasn’t changed your life, nor will it make your orgasms better, it will just make you a little more orgasm-smart and you will be able to move on with your life in an orgasm-educated way.

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