I know for a fact that most guys have a terrible way of trying to pick up chicks in a club or anywhere else. I know this because I am one of those chicks that has been hit on. I’ve heard the stupidest pick-up lines you can imagine and today I will share them with you so you know what NOT to do when trying to pick up a girl. Please do not use any of these lines or similar ones under any circumstance. They will get you laughed at, dateless and therefor sexless and nobody likes to be sexless.
I wonder what guys expect to get when they use cheesy pick-up lines? Do you really think you’re going to get a girl to bed with a phrase like “ HI, I think you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen…on a Wednesday” No, that’s not going to work unless she is just ridiculously stupid or way too drunk… and drunk sex is just not fun.
This is my top twenty of the worst pick-up lines I have ever heard. If you’ve used any of these than you might want to join the loser club, there looking for new members.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
*If you think that’s gonna work on me you must be McStupid
What’s wrong? You’re looking a little sad and gloomy. What you need is some vitamin me.
*Vitamine me? Will it cure my herpes?
I miss my teddy bear…Would you sleep with me?
*Oh so sorry to hear about your teddy bear...I bet he left because he couldn’t watch you masturbate anymore.
I envy your lipstick.
*I bet! Lucky for you, you can buy it for 8.75$ at any pharmacy, here have mine.
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
*Thank god because I really enjoy setting money on fire.
What do you like for breakfast?
*That guy over there
I want you almost as much as I want world peace.
*Omg..Omg…Miss America is here!
Hi, my name’s _____, but you can call me “lover”.
*I’ll call you Rover if you get on all fours and let me pet you.
You can forget about going to heaven because it’s sin to look that good.
*Who wants to go to heaven? All the naughty’s and orgies are in hell.
If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?
*If one of my legs was Thanksgiving and the other one was Christmas I’d already have a turkey and a Santa between my legs, I doubt there’s room for you.
We both know that I am going to follow you home anyway, so why don’t you just come along peacefully?
(Lick your finger and then touch her shirt) Here, let me help you out of those wet clothes.
*(Throw Drink at you) How about you take off your clothes?
Look at you, with all those curves, and me with no brakes.
*No brakes? Then you’ll just have to zoom on by now wont you.
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
*I’ll give you directions all right…to the all gay spa, meet me there in an hour.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.
*You might not be Fred Flintstone but a caveman might get more action than you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
*Turn around and run, run fast, I’m a pretty good runner in heels.
I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
*You’ll need a lot more than a quarter
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
*I’m going to nut-kick you so hard you’re gonna cry like a little girl.
You might not be the bestlooking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
*If you close that switch, you might never wake up.
AND FINALLY DRUM ROLL PLEASE…..
I’d even marry your dog just to be related to you.
That was my top 20 worst pick-up lines ever to be used on me. I also have to add the overused lines that didn’t make it to the list because if you do use these following lines to pick up chicks then you’re just a senseless moron.
Never ever use the following lines ever, at all costs, because if you do, that chick you dig will either leave with another guy or that other chick who really knows how to please a woman. If you play your cards right you could be taking home both girls:
“I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours”
“I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.”
“Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.”
“Can I borrow that quarter? My mom told me to call home when I fell in love.”
“Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind ALL day long.”(Fresh Prince! Is it really you?)
“Are you lost? Cause it’s so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.”
“You look great and all, but do you know what really looks good on you? Me.”
“Can I see that label? I just wanted to know if you were made in heaven.”
“Is that Windex you're wearing? Because I can see myself in your pants.”
Well boys, I hope you get the picture and that next time you want to impress a girl you’ll think outside the box. What always works best on me is if you can make me giggle. If you can do or say something smart and funny and get just one giggle out of me then you’re on the right track. Be honest and be yourself, if you do we might just end up in the sac together because I like guys who aren’t afraid to show who they really are instead of acting like jack asses with their friends. Of course every girl is different so make sure you hit on the right girl for you, NOT using all the above mentioned pick-up lines. Good luck gentlemen!